Spot of Wonder

As the car rumbled across the highway, I noticed leaves flaming with fall. It's the beginning of August, and there's already omens of my favorite season. Staring at the brilliant reds and oranges, I drew in my breath at the wonder of nature. Maybe the hot days are fading.

The progression of seasons is still a new thing for me. Coming from central Arizona, I'm used to varying shades of too hot and little else. I'm grateful for seasons, though. Without the rest of the seasons, I might not know how wonderous fall truly is.

First, there's the temperature. Cooler, certainly, sometimes even chilly. It's cool enough to walk through even for my poor heat tolerance, but rarely snowy. Perfect walking weather.

Then there's the leaves. Besides the temperature, seeing leaves change colors is my favorite part of Autumn. The brilliant colors the trees light up with remind me of flames and the importance of change and letting the past go.

Fall is coming. What changes are you welcoming with it?

Spot of Wonder

I've spent the morning curled up on the couch with my partner and my metamour, showing each other music and eating together. The flowers I bought for Nikki are blooming bright and beautiful, bringing spring to the winter in a flash of daisies and yellows. Earlier I sipped blueberry tea with honey to soothe my sick throat, and now I'm about to start my day of errands, homework, and spending time with friends.

I still can't get over how full my life feels these days, and nearly all of it good. A room away, Nikki is starting to cook for a potluck later, and walking up the street through the park to my best friend's house flashes through my mind. Just then, Nikki takes a break from cooking and kisses my shoulder as she walks into the next room. As I smile at her, I've never felt more home in a person's eyes.

A year ago, my life would seem unimagineable: too good to exist. It still does, but I'm living it. My metamour walks in to the kitchen where I'm standing now, catching her breath from a jaunt through the cold outside, and I realize again that I have a family among my friends and loved ones as she smiles in my direction.

My five years on testosterone was less than two weeks ago. My twenty-ninth birthday is in four days. I smile as I glance around my home. I love my life.

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Spot of Wonder

Wonderful memories from a wonderful 5 days with my amazing partner. I feel like I'm floating.

A journal found wandering a 3 story Barnes and Noble by the Chesapeake Bay

A journal found wandering a 3 story Barnes and Noble by the Chesapeake Bay

Petting jellyfish at the National Aquarium

Petting jellyfish at the National Aquarium

Dressing up just because

Dressing up just because

Cooking together

Cooking together

Flowers

Flowers

The kitchen herbs I'm growing for her sprouting

The kitchen herbs I'm growing for her sprouting

Spot of Wonder

Life has been a lot lately. What with the political nightmare in the US, I've been pretty drained and overwhelmed. Yesterday was even more of a slice of hell, though, so I'm taking this moment to be grateful for the people in my life.

When I got harassed and frightened at uni yesterday, my friends rallied around and messaged me support and encouragement. My bestie pushed me to report the jerk, who worked at the school, and when I was crying in the hallway before class, my physics professor went with me to the dean's office to report the person at a higher level. My boyfriend, unfortunately far away in Florida, listened to me vent and offered e-hugs, support, and anger on my behalf.

I feel lucky to have such a wonderful, supportive group of people around me, and grateful to know that when the going gets hard, I'm not alone like I used to be. So for the friends reading this, I love you all, and for the future friends, I love you too. I feel so lucky, even amidst the stress.

~<3

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Spot of Wonder #3

I'm happier than I've ever been, and so grateful for my life and the people in it. I never thought I'd be so at peace and in love with every moment I live, but I wake up every day excited for the new morning. I didn't know that life could feel so full. I didn't know that I could still feel alive with motivation while happy and at peace. I don't want to escape anymore. I want to live.

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Spot of Wonder #2

Coming out of a very rough patch of sad and death. Today I woke up with a smile and a sappy heart for the first time in about a week. So here's a mussy-haired, freshly awake me signing "I love you."

Because, of course, I do.

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Spot of Wonder #1

Cat

Today I found wonder in my cat's sleepy face, and the way he curled up with his toebeans on display. He keeps me sane, and sometimes, on dark days, he keeps me alive.

He's a good cat, too. He's trainable, will cuddle with me for 10 straight hours (I've timed it), and listens when I tell him no. He'll purr at the vet, never go to the bathroom outside the litterbox, and run to the door when I come home. He'll groom my hair, give me kisses, and burrow under my blankets.

My act of self-care today will be to take a little extra time to cuddle my cat and appreciate the joy he brings to my life. What will yours be?