Celebrating and Supporting the Queer Community

In honor of the approach of Pride Month, I wanted to share some thoughts and strategies for celebrating and supporting the queer community.

Three relevant caveats: First, I'm not as deeply embedded in the community as I once was. Second, I personally tend to use "queer" instead of "LGBTQIA", but it's a reclaimed word and not everyone is comfortable with it, especially when used by allies. And last, this is rather long, so feel free to link back to this and summarize or focus on the most relevant areas when discussing it with others.

To me, a lot of celebrating the LGBTQIA community as a collective by allies ends up coming across as performative or, when it's done by companies, as a sales tactic. When it comes to celebration, I've tended to see approaches that acknowledge and celebrate the individuality of community members as more meaningful than a monolithic celebration of queerness. In a lot of cases, all I have in common with other queer individuals is the fact I'm queer.

Also, it's worth noting that if you replace the word queer in these strategies with the name of another minority community, they are often effective for their members or allies as well.

All that being said, there are a number of approaches people can take toward supporting and celebrating queer individuals. Good approaches might include:

  • Are you a non-queer LGBTQIA ally asked to speak on queer topics at a panel? Suggest a speaker you admire from within the community instead (amplify queer voices).

  • Do you have a large amount of funds you want to earmark for the queer community? Create scholarships or grant opportunities for queer individuals and queer-focused organizations or projects, rather than just donating to a specific organization, or earmark your donations specifically for administrative/staffing costs. Nonprofits, as a general rule, struggle most to pay staff or afford basic expenses for building upkeep and repair, etc., even if they receive a large amount of funding. Funding opportunities generally explicitly exclude those purposes. As a result, community members, who often have less opportunity for paid employment already, are left with a large unpaid time burden on top of the other discrimination-related burdens they are fighting to combat already.

  • Want to celebrate queer people? Although our voices are often left out of history, our queerness is just a small part of our personhood. Which of your personal or professional heroes are queer? Celebrate them, their achievements, queer-focused or not, and the values they embody that you admire. Beyond it honoring amazing people, most effective tactics for anti-queer sentiment focus on dehumanizing queer people or reducing them to their queerness above their humanity. Reminding society of amazing people who happen to be queer both honors awesome humans and reinforces the fact that queer people are people first. Including everyday or local queer heroes (with their explicit permission, as it may increase their visibility more than they're comfortable with) helps on that front as well.

  • Be there for queer friends. Recognize that discrimination is draining, and queer folx, along with folx from other discriminated-against communities, may ask for more help at times as a result, whether as emotional labor or otherwise. Maintaining personal boundaries and honoring your own limits are still essential, but be aware that a greater need for those supports is not a sign of weakness or lack of capability.

  • Support other discriminated-against communities, not just queer ones. We rise and fall together. Society is entangled, and many queer individuals are also BIPOC, and/or homeless, and/or neurodivergent, etc.

  • Amplify non-white and nonbinary voices within the queer community. Discriminated communities unfortunately tend to punch down as much as any other folks. White gay and lesbian individuals often silence the voices of non-white, bi, trans, or nonbinary community members. Gay, lesbian, and bi community members often silence trans and nonbinary voices. Trans community members often silence nonbinary voices. The majority of white queer folx tend to supplant or silence BIPOC voices and perspectives. We are not whole or representative or even all that helpful when we only include the voices "normative" society finds most palatable. Perpetuating societal discrimination in microcosm is no less toxic. Make your support and celebration intersectional.

  • Volunteer with suicide hotlines.

  • Are you [insert specific queer identity here]? If you feel safe enough, be out and proud. Speak up about how you feel, the values you hold, and the labels you identify with. It can help build community and safety, humanize your community, and provide a broader range of voices so each voice has less weight to carry. Often, vocal voices are forced to become representative ambassadors of an aspect of their identity, rather than allowed to be whole, fallible human beings. The more voices, the more space each voice has to be more than a voice.

  • Start discussions with neighbors and friends. Build dialogues at organizations you are part of about common values and the impact of actions.

  • Network. The more people you know and organizations you are connected to that share your values, the more impact you can have and the easier you can become involved.

  • Support more marginalized communities, and use your areas of privilege to elevate the voices of those with less privilege.

  • Push your workplaces and cities, your schools and states, to provide protections for queer folk in their laws and EEOCs.

  • Speak up when you see injustice. Silence says something as clearly as words, though it may still be the right choice if it is not safe to stand up.

  • Looking for ways to make workplaces more trans-inclusive in particular? Cover trans healthcare, and not just top surgery for trans men or bottom surgery for trans women. Ask trans employees what might be helpful, and be willing to potentially fund some things outside of a plan, as healthcare coverage for trans individuals is almost never at all comprehensive. Some examples of often not-included things that might be really helpful for trans folx: voice therapy, laser hair removal, and breast implants for trans women or nonbinary individuals. Allow trans folk to use the bathroom they are most comfortable with, and defend their right to do so. Also consider implementing a policy of adding a gender neutral bathroom to any new locations or buildings and changing single stall bathrooms to gender neutral, but do not force trans folk to use that bathroom. Provide modules on trans education, harassment policies, and antidiscrimination practices (maybe including examples of questions that are and aren't okay to ask trans coworkers) for new employees and create company procedures for enforcing those policies so it's not just words. Have both legal name and name/nickname sections on an application so employees are not required to use deadnames outside of tax reasons, and a fill-in-the-blank pronoun section. Create anonymous reporting options for employees to minimize reporting fear, or hire an outside organization for investigating discrimination and harassment reports in general.

  • Want to make a difference on the policy or politics front in particular? Propose new policy initiatives on topics that matter to you. Phone bank for candidates, for parties, and for issues you care about. Donate to causes, candidates, and parties that reflect your values. Write to elected officials, whether through email, facebook, or snail mail. Thank them when they do things you appreciate and challenge them when they do things that you disagree with. March for relevant causes and laws. Help take over your party, whether it be Democratic or Republican or a third party, so you can direct its policies. Are you a member of the queer community? Run for office yourself. Are you an ally? Support queer folx who share your broader values in running for office. And importantly, if you can, vote. Yes, voting isn't always an effective method for change, but methods are not either/or. Vote in every election, not just presidential ones. Vote as if lives depended on it, because they do.

  • Research the values of organizations you become involved with, and don't compromise on the things most important to you. If you can't find an organization that supports the values you hold, start one or work from within.

  • Learn more about various issues. Education is the key to understanding.

  • Do not normalize discrimination that is happening. Don't forget the anger and fear. Normalization leads to complacency, and action is essential. Build on the momentum instead of forgetting it with time.

  • Activism requires balance. Practice self-care so when you are serving in an activist role, you can be present and effective.

This list, although long, is only one person's thoughts and strategies. As such, it is likely far from comprehensive, but it can serve as a place to start.