Rules For Myself: Forming a New Normal

It's strange how quickly a new normal can begin. COVID-19 feels like it's running rampant through the world around me, and I'm trying to stay in my house whenever I'm not at work. My coursework has moved online, and so I see no one but my cat five out of seven days a week.

At first it was brutally isolating, and I felt twitchy and very alone. But over time, with the help of a few rules for myself, things have begun to change.

The first rule is to get dressed every day. It's very easy to just crawl back in bed and sink into depression sleep if I don't force myself to insert some normalcy through putting on clothes.

The second rule is to reach out and tell a few people I appreciate them every day. This primes my brain for joy, and sets me up to see what I appreciate about people and the world. It also gives me a chance to connect with other human beings, which helps with the isolation.

The third rule is to set at least one goal for something to achieve. It gives me direction and a vague sense of structure, two things that are always integral to my personal mental health.

Do you have any rules for yourself that are helping you get through the days?

Conversations, Gratitude, and Healing

I've been slowly listening through the archives of The Tim Ferriss Show over the past few years, and one of the things he said about interviewing has stuck with me for quite a while. When talking about interviewing, he spoke of how he looks at interviews and chooses questions, and said that (paraphrasing) what he seeks in interviewing is to uplift people. It left me thinking about how I approach conversations in my own life.

I think if there is one aspect of my life that fills me with the most gratitude, it's that people seem to feel safe confiding in me. I don't know if it's because I'm often willing to be vulnerable and open about my imperfections, or if it's something in my presence or just that I'm there and willing to listen, but people seem to share their deepest wounds with me, often in our first conversations.

I am always awed and honored when I hear someone, after spilling out a particularly painful moment, tell me, "You know, I've never told anyone that before." Getting to witness that first moment of beginning to heal is a feeling unlike any other. The incredible strength it takes to share something so deeply aching is awe-inspiring, and hearing people's voices recognize their own courage with awe is a gift I hope I never view as anything but wondrous.

We all have wounds, me included, and I feel incredibly fortunate to play a part in so many journeys toward healing.